In American culture men are held to certain expectations, some of which are harmful to the individual and their communities. Even though they are harmful, a number of these expectations are still followed. Traits that are used to describe masculinity include: strong, aggressive, intelligent, competitive, confident, and stoic. The opposite of masculinity is femininity, and any men that have feminine attributes or characteristics are looked down upon by society. They are often told to “man up” and to not be a sissy.
Men are expected to be strong, not only in a physical sense but also mentally. For example it is embarrassing or shameful to cry. As boys in our culture, they are surrounded by sports, guns, etc. They are taught from an early age to be aggressive and tough. The harm of these expectations start early. As individuals they aren’t able to explore themselves-what they like and dislike and so forth. They have to bottle up certain emotions which is unhealthy for one’s well-being. As an extreme result, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention reports that men have suicide rates that are 4 times higher than that of women. However one can make the argument that some of these expectations are beneficial. Since men are expected to be confident and smart, it pushes them to reach their potential.
Not all men fit the expectations provided by the American culture. Even though men are expected to be the provider and “bring home the bacon,” not all do. There are men that stay home and take care of children and do housework. There are aspects of society that haven’t quite adjusted to this reality. In public bathrooms, fathers don’t have access to the baby changing tables that are provided in womens’ restrooms. The parking lot at my physician’s office has parking slots reserved for “mothers and children.” Interestingly someone took a marker and added “+ fathers” to one of them. I have a male friend who enjoys romantic comedies. This defies the stereotype that men should watch or enjoy “shoot ‘em up” or action packed movies. Other members of the present American culture, view men being in touch with their emotions, as an attractive quality. Nothing is the same among all men, some will say its necessary to adhere to certain expectations, whereas others will think its ridiculous to believe in those expectations.
Many nice points. The public restroom thing has always driven me crazy--moreso once I had kids. My sons are still sorting through the gender identity stuff, so somedays they're freaked out about going into the "wrong" bathroom (they're words, not mine) and other days it doesn't phase them.
ReplyDeleteWe went to a restaurant last week that had two restrooms, both labeled male/female. It was nice for all of us that we didn't even have to think about it.